Cigarettes and Melted Easter Eggs
It took a moment to register that something wasnt right; he left for some cigarettes at the local gas station mini-mart and came back to find something odd. Said oddity was sitting snugly within a plastic zippy bag upon his open computer tower. The thumb sized pastel colored shells within had now cracked under the heat of the hard drive, a thick dark substance was oozing between the fractures and collecting into a puddle in one corner of the small plastic bag.
From sheer reflex the red headed hacker slowly pulled the goggles he was wearing up to the top of his head and then leaned over the small bag to inspect it closer, prodding it with his index finger as he did so. One of the oval shaped orbs inside split, gushing out more of the brown ooze inside.
Gah! MELLO!!! WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS!?! He turned looking around the empty room. The only thing that greeted him was silence and the whirr from the over heating computer.
His attention turned back to the bag of melting nastiness. Obviously the computer he was working on was over-heating badly once again, he had half a mind to just junk the whole thing. It was fairly useless as a computer now; it seemed to eat through motherboards like... Mello ate chocolate.
Chocolate, thats what it was in that bag; therefore it must be Mellos. He was the only person in this apartment that inhaled chocolate like it was the water of life.
Mello! Matt called out once again, and once again was greeted by silence. He carefully grabbed the edge of the bag, pulling it off the surface of the computer as though it was a bag of some sort of vile toxic waste. MELLO? Still no answer.
He made his way past loose wires and the piles of computer parts scattered across the floor from where he had been tinkering with them before he left, on towards the small apartment kitchen connected to the living room with but a counter separating the two rooms. He set the bag down on the white tile near the sink, and then stared at it. The cheerfully colored orbs were familiar; hed seen these hideous looking little things before. As he pondered them a memory suddenly shot back from the dark locked door of his subconscious.
Easter.
Yes, despite the fact it was nearly October, these were Easter candies. Pink, sky blue, pale green, and soft yellow glistening candy coated chocolate eggs.
Matt had learned to hate Easter with every fiber of his being over the time he had known Mello. For that was the holiday his closest friend, his only friend, became a monster. Sure Mello could be a royal jerk, pushy, bordering on psychotic; but this was different. On Easter he lost his mind and became evil incarnate.
One would think it would be this way on any holiday that involved candy of any sort, but that person would be a fool. Easter was different from Christmas, or even the candy commercial known as Halloween. You see Easter had rarities, two rarities to be precise. Cadbury Cream Eggs and the horror in the blue bag... Hersheys candy coated eggs.
Matt picked the bag back up again by the corner, lifting it up and inspecting it once again. Pink, yellow, green, and blue cracking and oozing ovals; yes indeedy this was the small horrors of the little blue bag. People will be maimed possibly killed in pursuit of this treat.
Last Easter was the worst of all these instances. Like a werewolf transformed by the light of the full moon, Mello had snatched him by the back of his stripped shirt collar and dragged him kicking and screaming from the soft comforting glow of his PS2 to begin the hunt, thats exactly what it was too, a hunt. Matt wouldnt be a bit surprised if Mello dressed up like some uppity pansy of an aristocrat then mount some horse and send out a pack of hounds with a bugle call like he was starting off the fox hunt. Matt must have been the stupid hound, for he was the one that was dragged out of the house by they shirt collar and told fetch. Those candies were certainly as elusive as a fox for they had searched every store in the city, none of which had that horrid blue bag of cavities in a shell.
He couldnt hold it back; the memory just invaded his mind playing out like some cheesy B horror flick; reminding him of the torment, forcing him to relive it in vivid detail.
IOIOIOIOI
Matt sat quietly in the drivers seat of some beat up old car they had picked up while they were in some town somewhere back East, on any other day he would have lit up a cig and started drumming his fingers on the steering wheel waiting for Mello to state where they would be going, and why. But not today, he knew better than to do ANYTHING that would be even the slightest bit annoying to the blonde that sat next to him. Especially after all the numerous dashed hopes every time they got out of the car. Mello didnt do well with dashed hopes; the let down was almost as bad as coming in second to Near.
It was like a kick to the gut for Mello, he LOVED those stupid little chocolate Easter eggs. He waited all year for them, every year. Hed go on about how nothing but the best chocolate could ever grace his lips, how nasty Hersheys usually was, but yet there was just something about those eggs that he couldnt get enough of. No replacements could be made for there was nothing else like them. Forget any cheap or even high quality imitation, forget Hershey Kissables, which is said to taste just like them, NOTHING was like his favorite eggs. It had to be those eggs or nothing, and the nothing option was not a very pleasant choice for anyone who had to spend time with the Easter Werewolf.
Matt glanced at the back of Mellos head as he was glaring out the passenger window. Mello had stormed out of the gas station mini mart a few moments ago and flopped into the passenger seat with a mighty slam from the door, very much like thunder to a storm; sudden, violent, and loud. The little voice in Matts head started screaming for him to not make a move, not to say a word. As long as Mello sat there staring out the window with bloodlust gleaming in the faint reflection of his face, Matt was not to say or do anything. But words fell from his lips before he could stop them.
Maybe its been discontinued
Matt wanted to take a gun and hold it up to his head right then and there and just blow his brains out across the dashboard. He knew he was about to die anyway; he had just uttered the words that were not to be uttered.
Mello turned slowly, the glare was enough to drop a charging angry bear dead in its tracks from a heart attack. Matt shifted in his seat under the intensity of Mellos frighteningly dark eyes, fighting the urge to kick the door out and bolt right then and there.
Or maybe we just arent looking in the right place? Matt swallowed hard, hoping his last statement was enough to at least stop the pain drilling into his soul from the glare of doom.
Lets go
Mello growled, barely audible above the sound of the car engine as they idled there in the parking lot.
Uh, home? Hope infiltrated his voice as Matt dared to steal another glance at Mello.
We are not going to go back to that hotel until we find them, so I suggest you get this car moving again. The sooner we find them the sooner you can get back to your flippin' Playstation. Mello hissed again, sending shivers down Matts spine.
Fine, touchy little
The glare of doom returned, nailing Matt between the eyes.
Going now
The gamer threw it in reverse and nearly mowed people down as the car flew out of the parking lot and onward down the street once again.
Matt finally eased on the gas pedal, stealing glances at Mello out of the corner of his eye. The reflection in the glass wasnt quite as murderous now, it seemed Mello had mellowed slightly. But then Matt knew him too well, this look merely meant that Mello had retreated into his mind and was just lost in thought. Anything could snap and bring back scary Were-Mello at any second.
Once again Matt wanted to kick himself for what he was about to do, Mello... concern laced the name as it fell.
Mello shifted, glancing over his shoulder slightly. Strangely the glare wasnt there, or perhaps it was and it was just those long blonde locks hiding it from Matts view. Either way, Matt didnt feel the intimidation like he had before.
Matt rolled his shoulders back, cracking out the stress that had been building up from the tension. He wanted to ask what their next destination was, but when they had come to a stop at the intersection he spotted a possible answer. How bout that one? Matt shifted his original thoughts from what he had planned, pointing at a huge store that was looming across the way.
Isnt that a cheap department store of some kind? Mello sighed, forehead connecting with the cold glass of his window.
Well I dont know, I think its supposed to have like everything in it. I went in one like it
somewhere
he shrugged, It was a long time ago. Looking for a game, but they kinda suck in that department and I didnt bother looking around more than that. Matt fished around one handed in his tan fuzzy vest pocket for his cigarettes before the light changed.
Considering what type of store it is, its likely they would have your Holiday Crack. He tapped the package on the dashboard, retrieving the last one in the package and held it up to dangle unlit between his lips.
Crack jokes from the one chewing on a stick of paper covered Cancer. Mello snorted, then stared back at the building. I dont know if I like the looks of that place.
It looks busy
Matt nodded towards the constant flow of cars moving in and out of the parking lot. He pulled out a lighter, but waited for Mello to say something before he flicked it on, nearly afraid that the mere sound of the flint would set the blonde off.
You dont honestly think they have them do you? Mellos tone had actually dropped back to somewhat civil.
Matt merely shrugged in answer, lighting his cigarette and then replacing the lighter in his vest pocket.
Youre a lot of help, you know that? Mello glowered.
I do what I can, buddy, I do what I can. Matt chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but the rising intensity of his companions glare forced him to re-think any future comedic attempts. Lighten up, Dude, you know these sorts of stores thrive on seasonal merchandising. If anyone is going to have those things, it would be this pit.
Fine, lets go then. Mello tenderly rubbed his temple; he could just feel a headache coming on from the impending doom of rubbing elbows with society. But youre coming with me this time.
Right-o Captain. Matt started off when the light finally flashed to green for the third time while they had been sitting there. As he turned the car and entered the parking lot, he couldnt shake this strange uneasy feeling. Judging from the massive amounts of people going in and out, and the fact that he was having no luck parking, this wouldnt end well. Definitely not, especially when you mix the masses with a very chocolate crazed Mello.
The car door swung open when they finally came to a stop, a steel tipped pointed boot clanked down on the asphalt, Mello emerged from the dinged car like some sort of avenging angel in tight black leather. A mother nearby snatched her child and quickly circled around to the other side of the street, muttering something about gangsters and pimps coming to a family store.
Looks like we wont have any problems getting in and out with you around to scare mothers and their small screaming children. Matt chuckled around his cigarette that had now burned down to a small stub. He spat it out and squished it under his boot heel with a twist as they walked towards the doors to the building; he was definitely going to need more of those.
Lets make this quick, I dont like this. Mello groaned barely above a whisper as the doors slid open.
Good afternoon Maam. a little old lady smiled from her seat at the doors entry, obviously someone the store had hired to do just that, greet the customers and make them feel welcomed so they would spend more of their money.
Mello blanched for a moment until he felt a shove in the small of his back, Keep going, Man, shes practically blind... Matt whispered into his ear, drawing attention to the pop bottle glasses the little old lady was blinking owlishly behind.
My goodness the things mothers let their little girls go out in these days
the little old lady sighed as she began to straiten out her blue apron.
Matt had to practically drag Mello back by what little scruff of his black leather vest he could get his fingers laced into, Come on, Dude, shes senile! Dont listen to her, lets just get what we need and go! He growled between clenched teeth.
A few grumbled choice words from Mello later and they were standing in the middle of the store looking around like they were poor lost children. Mello however looked more like a very angry little child that was about to throw the temper tantrum of a lifetime. For some odd reason no one would come within a five foot radius of the boys, neither customers nor associates. Sure there were teenage girls hiding behind clothes racks ogling them from afar, but nobody dared come any closer than that. So getting any help was out of the question, they simply had to use their above average smarts to find what they needed.
Matt reached up to scratching his head, Well this is certainly a sticky wicket. he didnt notice the eyebrow raise and slight curve to Mellos lip at that statement, yet another moment of Mrs. Jeevas shining through her son.
I dont like this, lets get out of here, Matt
The small curve in his lips faded as Mello shot a glare at one of the girls peeking at them from behind the nearest clothes rack sending them scattering to safer distances.
Naw, you made me come here, why leave before we know? I figure the Easter crap is prolly down this middle row here, Matt pointed down the drive aisle that passed all the registers of the store to the right, See theres a big pink bunny
So if we just keep going past the magazines and hair care stuff were bound to
find
SWEET LOCKED MUST BE 18 TO PURCHASE GLASS CASES OF GLORY!!! he suddenly exclaimed when he caught sight of the behind the counter merchandise at the far end of the registers. Im getting more cigarettes, have fun finding your crack, Man.
You are NOT going to just leave me here like
Mello stopped mid snarl at Matts already sprinting from, a tug on his leather pants bringing his attention back from the rage at his supposed friend to his surroundings.
A little girl with pigtails was staring up at him, still gripping the only section of loose leather on his pant leg. A big grin plastered across her sweet little fairy like cheeks, Mama! Lookie, I found Madonna!!!
Get away from me you little snot. Mello barked, eliciting a squeal from the little girl that strangely sounded more giddy than fearful as she ran away.
Mellos attention focused back on the path before him, surely fate wouldnt spit in his eye yet again. Surely hed be rewarded for the torment he had to endure here, this mingling with the annoying sheep known as the human race while being abandoned by his supposed best friend. He stomped off down the linoleum flooring, in the direction of the hideous pink rabbit further down the aisle, fighting the little voice that told him how fun it would be to just blow the head off of that stupid looking cardboard cut out.
Some time later, Matt was at the register, no, this was more like a smokers paradise. He winked at the cashier as he started to pull his bag full of cigarette cartons off the rotating bag dispenser, You have just saved my life, Miss, I could just kiss you right about now. The line of people that he had waited behind might have been horribly long, but the reward was well worth the wait. He most certainly was going to need every last one of these if he was going to have to continue driving Mello around creation looking for his white rabbit.
The cashier giggled like a little school-girl, flicking her hair back nervously while pale pink lips parted to say something flirty back only to be cut off suddenly by the PA system, Paging Department Manager to the Seasonal Dive Aisle 1, we have a code A, I repeat Department Manager to Seasonal Dive Aisle 1, we have a Code A.
Matt stood staring up at the ceiling, his bag barely dangling from his weak grip, Code A? Please tell me that means theres a missing kid around here
he glanced over at the cashier, hoping that the sinking feeling in his gut was merely unnecessary nerves.
No, Sir
actually thats a code one of our managers came up with for someone whos being
troublesome. The cute little cashier girl whispered, fighting the giggle at the silly inner store joke.
So its not a big deal then? Matt raised an eyebrow.
Nah, its probably just a customer calling one of our associates a name or getting in their face about something. It happens, cant help it. She smiled despite her topic of conversation.
Heh, yeah people are jerks, what can you do? Matt chuckled, casting a wink back at her as he sauntered off outside to smoke.
Matt leaned back against one of the strange red posts that lined the entryway to the store pulling a pack of cigarettes out of the bag wrapped around his wrist, and then fishing around in his pocket once again for his lighter. The fresh new cigarette from the package dangled limply between his lips as he stared up at a passing cloud.
Really its not such a bad day... not too warm... nice... He lit the cigarette and sighed, oh come on already Mello, I want to go back to the hotel and get back to my game. He muttered under his breath.
Sure Matt was getting fidgety, but he wasnt worried. Not until more time had passed, five minutes had turned into thirty. Forcing the gamer to glance at his watch for the hundredth time. He flicked his cigarette to the ground, his third while standing there, squishing it with his boot and snuffing it out as he pulled another out and held it to his lips. As he twisted his foot on the butt of his last one he turned and glanced at the door, hoping to catch sight of Mello.
Someone was coming, very quickly, but it certainly wasnt Mello. Normally Matt wouldnt pay any attention, but it was the look on the womans face that kept him watching her. She was hurrying, panic etched on her face as she pulled a little girl quickly along behind her through the sliding doors.
The little girl had pigtails that bounced and flipped in the air as she skipped past Matt,
and then Madonna pulled a gun out of her pants
It was so cool! Did you see that Mama?!? I like Madonna
I wanna be just like her when I grow up and join the Yakuza
Yes, Hunny, thats nice, lets go quickly... before Madonna goes crazy... the mother cringed as she continued to pull the girl across the parking lot.
The cigarette slipped to the ground, Matt stared after the woman slack jawed as he wrapped his seemingly unwilling mind around her words. His brain finally agreed, yes, Mello kinda looked like Madonna if you squinted and tilted your head just so. It was enough to spin him around for the door and run back inside. If it was Mello, maybe he could tackle him and drag him out fo the store before anything worse could happen.
Matt thoughts skidded to a stop just as he did, right inside the door. Mello was walking up to him, two large shopping bags full of the blue bags they had been searching for dangled from his grip, a content smirk flitted across his lips when he caught sight of Matt, My work here is done, no thanks to you, so lets blow this place
What did you do? Matt was nearly turning pale white, an uneasy knot forming in the middle of his gut. He glanced at the bags in Mellos hands again; there was something else in them. But he couldnt make out what it was.
I went shopping, now lets go
before they get loose
Mello snickered, picking up one boot and planting it in the middle of Matts hip to get him moving along.
Matt stumbled a couple steps, before stopping and standing mouth agape in horror as he watched Mello merrily make his way out the front door.
Thank you for stopping by, you and your
boyfriend... have a nice day. The little old lady cooed from her perch.
Matt skidded to a stop, I am NOT his boy
the doors shut.
Aw, come on Matt
Mello grinned, then it turned to a sinister glare, shes senile remember
you jerk. The insult ended with a Mello brand snarl as turned back towards the parking lot.
I dont care if people think youre a chick, Dude.... but if they say Im your guy Ive got issues with that... Matt sprinted to catch up with Mellos retreating form, I mean I could do sooo much better than your skinny butt.
He listened to the clacking noise Mellos boots made for a moment, watching his blonde hair blowing back long enough in the light breeze to let him see the side of Mellos face. Matt could just barely catch the faint upward twist of a grin, which elicited one of his own. Obviously evil snarly Mello had done a complete 180 and was now happy nice Mello who could take a joke. The horrible Were-Mello had seen the dawn of day and was now normal once again.
Aw, that hurts Man, are you saying Im not pretty?! Mello feigned hurt at Matts crack as he leaned against the passenger side door of the car, waiting for Matt to unlock it.
Oh that was just all kinds of wrong, dont say crap like that, it scares me. Matt snorted, catching sight of a shopping bag coming rapidly towards his head. He ducked just as it swung just over his head brushing against a few locks of his dark red hair.
Hurry up and unlock door, stupid. Mello turned back, the bag he had swung at Matt still swayed a little as he walked back around to the passenger side.
Watch it man, thats a deadly weapon you got there
Matt slid into the car, leaning across the seat to flick the lock button on Mellos door.
Not the worst way to go, bludgeoned to death by chocolate. Mello smiled, Now lets go before the cops get here.
That uneasy cold knot came back like a swift kick to the groin; Matt turned his head staring at his now content friend. Mello was blissfully hugging one of the shopping bags filled with chocolate. You arent going to tell me what you did are you? Matt grunted as he started the car, a simple smirk was the only answer he got.
IOIOIOIOIOIOIOI
Matt had picked up a newspaper the next day as they were leaving that town behind them. Local Shopping Center Threatened by Madonna Look a Like. It was the funniest thing hed ever seen, especially the profile sketch of what looked vaguely like Mello
with boobs. But the details within the article were very vague, and Mello had never told him what had happened. The only thing he could gather was the fact that nobody was hurt and apparently nothing was stolen except the security tapes.
Matt chuckled as he came back to the present. He pinched the bridge of his nose; the nasty bag of chocolate still dangled from his fingertips as he mentally rehashed the entire story. Yes, this was definitely the horrible little candy that Mello had dragged him all over that town that day to find many, many months ago.
Mello? Still no answer, but this time Matt could swear he heard a grunt come from one of the two apartment bedrooms.
He walked over to the door, putting an ear to the wooden surface and listening for a moment. Mello? He finally called again.
GO
AWAY. A strangled voice snarled behind the door.
Matt opened the door, and nearly had to catch himself from falling back at the sight before him. Mello was sprawled across the bed, trying desperately to lace up his pants with out much success. He froze when he caught sight of Matt leaning against the doorframe, one hand hiding his mouth and the obvious smirk behind it.
So what part of GO AWAY said, oh do please come in and make yourself at home? Mello spat, releasing his laces.
You look like that chick in the weight loss commercial thats trying to zip up her jeans
Matt snorted.
Mello sat up, glaring daggers, Are you calling me fat?
No
I wouldnt do that! Matt gasped, fighting the little curl in his lip, I called you a
chick!
THATS IT!! Mello bolted from the bed as though he had wings to fly only to slam to a stop against the door that was rudely slammed in his face. The force of the impact jarred the door, sending Matt falling forward.
Matt scrambled to his feet and flung himself against the door to hold it closed as Mello continued to try and kick it down. The pounding wild force continued for a few minutes but stopped suddenly when a strange ripping noise echoed from behind the door, followed closely by some unintelligible curse. Matt waited; mustering the courage to release the death grip he had on the door handle. He cracked the door open, pulling it just enough for him to poke his head in.
You just ripped the seat of your pants out didnt you? Matt fought the chuckle back that had been trying to escape.
Shut up! Mello turned, hand behind his back holding the torn seam shut, This was an old pair anyway
the leather just gave out is all. he added, half assuring himself that it was just weak leather from old age.
aaaaaaaw, Mellos got issues. You know maybe if you didnt eat so much of whatever the crap that was on my computer you wouldnt have these
issues. Matt snickered, still taunting his friend.
You have a death wish dont you? Mello snarled as he rummaged through his closet and pulled out a pair of jeans.
Im just messing with you
sheash cant you take a joke. Matt leaned over, picking up the bag of melted chocolate eggs hed dropped in his rush to escape, Now would you care to explain cooking these on my hard drive?
The sound of a metal zipper echoed in the room as Mello turned back to face his friend, tugging at the edges of his black tank top that had gotten caught under his jeans waist line. I like them slightly melted, your computer is just the right temperature to do that, which by the way I think is a sign that you need to do a better job fixing that thing, you talentless hack.
Ouch, someone took their nasty pills today. Matt snorted, and why not just nuke them?
And I see someone took their stupid pills. If you nuke chocolate it gets all burnt disgusting tasting. Mello snatched the bag from Matts grasp, Now theyre nice and gooey.
Matt watched as Mello pulled a little egg out and sucked the insides out through a small crack with a slurp, oh thats just... disgusting!
Mello shrugged and flopped back across his bed, savoring his little stash. Matt sauntered over sliding down the side of the bed to sit on the floor, all the while fumbling in his pocket for a cigarette.
You know, you never did tell me what happened that day
Matt finally sighed as he breathed out a stream of smoke that curled around before dissipating.
What day? Mello was licking the inside out of half a egg shell.
What do you mean what day
how many days do we go out egg hunting and come away with Walnutworld security tapes? Matt growled, eyeing the blonde out of the corner of his eye.
Oooh that. Mello cooed innocently and then paused almost as though he had to summon up the memories. Nothing too bad really. I just got in their faces a little and thought maybe I should take the tapes with me just in case. Better to not leave any records.
My butt. Matt snorted, there was a little girl, came out of the store while I was waiting for you. She said Madonna pulled a gun out of her leather pants
Matt leaned his head back over the mattress watching Mellos shoulders twitch.
Stupid kid
Mello brushed back a layer of hair behind his ear, Fine
I grabbed them all. Every bag they had. Then this woman came over out of no where and started giving me lip over taking them all. I guess her brat wanted them too. So I was a perfect gentleman and declined her accusation.
In other words, you told her to go take a flying leap. Matt chuckled.
Perhaps
Mello glanced away, Anyway, she got pushy. And I told her to bugger off, but by that time some stupid little worker came and started giving me lip as well. So I told them to bugger off with the old bat.
Code A
Matt snorted.
Mello eyed him for a moment, wondering how he recalled that code they called on him, Yes, the girl called that and sent a couple managers after me and well
I just
Flipped out and pulled the gun? Over something that trivial? Why didnt you just buy the stuff and leave? Matt pondered aloud, he knew his friend was a little off kilter but not so bad that hed freak over just everything.
Thats just it. I tried! They told me to put the merchandise down and leave the store. It was the ONLY PLACE
Where else was I going to get these things!? Mello bellowed, the torment and angst still fresh in his mind.
Aaaah I see. Matt smiled, now that was Mello. The blonde got his way no matter what.
So I pulled the gun, threw the money to the cashier and then told the store manager to take me to the security room where I lifted all tapes and rendered all cameras inoperable. Mello sighed, But its not like they were out anything, I left them extra money. Im not THAT evil.
Of course not! Matt chuckled, You just scared minimum wage workers, mothers, and brought joy to some sick little girls life.
It was strange; actually to be honest their lives had never been normal. Not from the moment they set foot in Wammys House so many years ago had there been what was considered by society a normal day. They lived a fast pace, off the wall, brilliantly lit existence and it was what Matt had come to accept as normal. He loved it. He cherished even the most embarrassing and horrible memories with his friend. He never wanted it to end, and somewhere inside he knew Mello felt the same.
Here try one. Mello held a chocolate bleeding egg out in front of Matts goggles.
Matt was ripped from his inner reveries and eyeballed the oozing grossness. Ew, no!
EW?! Mello blinked, Did you say EW to my generosity? You should be thankful I even considered letting you try this perfection. You do not say EW!
Matt was about to protest that statement when Mello pounced from the bed and pinned him to the floor, the melted Easter egg mere inches from his nose.
EAT IT! Mello barked as fought against Matts futile attempts to escape, youll LIKE it! Eat it!
Matt struggled, started to yell but realized that the second he opened his mouth that horrible looking egg would be shoved inside. He merely growled and clawed at the carpet as Mello continued chanting eat it and grinning at his friends torment. It ended when Mello finally kneeled on Matts arms and pinched his nose shut, the gamer lost when he finally gave up and gasped for breath.
It seemed like their lives were constantly on the move, dark forces hung about on every side threatening to take their lives and stamp them out. Yet they continued to live on in these normal days, momentarily lost in the enjoyment of childish moments like these. They were happy despite the shadows and terrors of loss and hatred, their friendship was the only thing they had left. It kept them going, kept them strong; thanks to these moments of cigarettes and melted Easter eggs.
~End~














Devious Comments
Comments
<<; Made me want chocolate eggs, too.
Were-Mello. Harr harr.
"Local Shopping Center Threatened by Madonna Look a Like"
I lol'd. Hardcore. <3
Though... I was kinda hoping for a lil'... shounen-ai... HAHA. That's how I go into any Matt/Mello fic, though.
Still, this is very, very well written! And this is coming from a chick who's anal about fanfics, and usually refuses to read them.
Good job~
Oh, and your Matt was perfect. <3
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MELLO > YOU.
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I lost my coat!!! Have you seen it? It's white and has straps all over...
A nice little bit of comedy; pretty well written, and it made me smile before I go to the minor hell known as school.
A few errors I picked up:
'something wasnt right, he left' I think that instead of a comma you should use a semi-colon or a dash to elongate it.
'The cheerfully colored orbs where familiar;' you want 'were' not 'where'
'your flippin Playstation' I think that as it's an abbreviation of 'flipping' it's normal to put an apostrophe on the end of flippin'
'a steal tipped pointed boot' That type of 'steel' is spelt with a double 'e' otherwise it's talking about thieving.
'oogling' Now I'm not certain if this is wrong, because you might want to use that word... but I think that 'ogling' is the more normal word to use.
And one thing I've noticed is consistent throughout the whole piece; when speech is continuing into the rest of a sentence, you're still cutting it off with a full stop. When the sentence follows on, you should cut it off with a comma, unless you're using a question or exclamation mark. If the sentence finishes with the speech, then you can use the full stop.
Hope that's of some help!
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When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. While enjoying your drink of course.
~~
I'm a member of ~writers-in-progress!
Anyhoo, thank you! I'm happy to hear that! and thank you for pointing out those couple of faux pas... I tend to trust my spell check too much and those little things slip my eyes when I scan the story and don’t have a beta reader to catch them for me. So I'll get in there and change those now. However I’m afraid I have to disagree on the dialogue punctuation flowing into the sentence. I was always told to do it this way unless it's a case of 'he said-she said'. But thank you so much! This was a great help! XD
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I lost my coat!!! Have you seen it? It's white and has straps all over...
I've actually never seen fanfics where the characters are actually in character!!!
this was well done. It's hilarious, and awesome ^_^.
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I can climb higher; and I can fall harder.
copy and paste this in your signature if you believe that anorexic bishie boys should rule the world.
That was hilarious. =]
"Madonna Look-Alike" <- epicluls.
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Boom.
Happy to help. I'd be happy to act as beta if you needed it, or I'll just point stuff out when I notice it once it's been uploaded.
Really? Wow, I've always been taught the way I said. Ah well.
PS Thank you so much for the faves! They're much appreciated!
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When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. While enjoying your drink of course.
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I'm a member of ~writers-in-progress!
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If the plot drags, shoot someone.
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"Fat man in reeeeeed pumps, fat man in reeeeeeeeed pumps."
~ me on coffee
*gasp* you wouldn't mind being a beta! really!? If you don't mind I just might take you up on that offer for a couple of my Death Note fics. I'm always looking for some help, and I really appreciated the tips you gave me. ^_^ and as for the punctuation, you may very well be right. I'm going to ask an English professor I know just to be sure. I do remember a long time ago some English teacher told me this... but they could have been mistaken (and it was a while ago.)
No problem!
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I lost my coat!!! Have you seen it? It's white and has straps all over...
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